


somewhere in the middle

by meteoranger



Category: Twisted-Wonderland (Video Game)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hallucinations, M/M, Mentions of headcanons, Nightmares, Trauma, can be shippy but can also be read as gen, mostly ruggie-centric, primarily ruggie's trauma about leona's overblot, set after the end of ep2 up to ep4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:07:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26663398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meteoranger/pseuds/meteoranger
Summary: Almost being turned into sand is no joke. Ruggie could smile and laugh and act like nothing had happened, like he hadn't almost died, but a near-death experience like that wasn't easy to forget.In which Ruggie is plagued by nightmares and hallucinations about the time Leona used his magic on him and overblotted, and so is Leona. Mostly Ruggie-centric.
Relationships: Ruggie Bucchi & Leona Kingscholar, Ruggie Bucchi/Leona Kingscholar
Comments: 12
Kudos: 147





	somewhere in the middle

The memories always resurfaced in the dead of night when Ruggie least expected them, his peaceful dreams interrupted by the sensation of his body disintegrating. It was the same every time - a strong wind enveloping him, the sound of cruel and merciless laughter ringing in his ears, his vision blurring, his throat drying up and his skin  _ cracking _ and dissolving into sand - he would wake up breathless and sweaty, hands grabbing at whatever he could to give him a sense of security, eyes darting around to make sure there was no one else around him, and that he was safe. He would wrap his arms around himself, making sure his body was intact, and he would tremble and bury himself in his sheets to calm himself down. Sometimes it would only take a few moments, other times it would get so bad that he’d lie awake shaking for hours - but no matter what he did, the nightmares kept coming back, and each time they were clearer than ever before.

It had been like this ever since the incident: the day of the magift tournament, the day Savanaclaw’s plan to finally beat Diasomnia failed, the day Leona unleashed his unique magic and overblotted. Almost every day, and more often than not, Ruggie would remember Leona grabbing him, remember feeling the water being sucked out of his skin as his arm slowly began to crack and turn to sand. He would remember being unable to move, being unable to breathe, with Leona laughing at him and mocking him for his helplessness. 

_ So pathetic. Truly pitiful. _ Those words would echo in his head with startling clarity, as though it was being whispered to him over and over.

If Ruggie thought wakefulness would be his refuge, he was wrong - the memories only kept coming back like a pest he simply couldn’t get rid of. It would even happen in the middle of the most trivial things, like when he’d do laundry or buy things at the shop, or when he’d idle about and not really think about anything. Sometimes they came in flashes, and other times it would be as though he’d fall into a trance, but he would always,  _ always _ see the exact same things, feel the exact same sensations, hear the same sadistic laugh that haunted his dreams. More often than not it led to little accidents, like bumping into a group of students in the cafeteria and dropping his food tray, or even tripping down a flight of stairs and landing right on his ass, but Ruggie would always just laugh and play it off as a brief moment of clumsiness. It was easy for him to convince others that he was just tired, given how hard he worked on a daily basis, so thankfully no one bothered him too much about it.

Well, except for Jack. No matter how much Ruggie reassured him, Jack was extremely concerned, fussing over him and offering to do his errands for him so he could get some rest. At first Ruggie found it irritating, repeatedly telling Jack that he was fine and he didn’t need any help, but as the episodes continued he finally relented; it was the only way he could get the freshman to stop bothering him, and admittedly, he  _ did _ need a break. If he was going to keep having these blackouts, he’d rather they happen when he wasn’t doing anything so he wasn’t constantly making a fool of himself where people could see.

The worst part of it all, actually, was being around Leona. The visions would come more frequently when he was around, and it took all of Ruggie’s efforts to act like everything was perfectly normal. It was difficult when something as simple as a word or a gaze from the lion would be enough to make him nearly jump out of his skin, but there was no way Ruggie was going to let him know that. So what he did instead was try to avoid Leona as much as he could without making it seem that way, doing it all under the guise of being busy and having more errands to run. It wasn’t like they were together all the time anyway, Ruggie thought; it wouldn’t make much of a difference if he kept some distance between them like this. Leona wouldn’t notice, hopefully.

He wanted to believe there wasn’t any reason for him to be afraid, that what happened was over, that he wasn’t in danger anymore, that Leona wouldn’t lash out the way he did again. But in the back of his mind, Ruggie couldn’t help but question whether he  _ was _ safe. After all, he had trusted Leona, believed in him, had faith that they were on the same side working towards the same goal - and then Leona betrayed that trust, and had nearly cost him his life with practically no sign of remorse.

Perhaps that was what really set Ruggie on edge, try as he might to hide it as much as he could - Leona didn’t seem to regret what he did, had not even apologized for his actions, merely carrying on as though nothing had happened. Around him, and around everybody else, Ruggie did the same, smiling and laughing and pretending as though he hadn’t almost died, even though the anxiety continued to gnaw at him under his skin, made him look at himself every few seconds to make sure he wasn’t disintegrating into sand.

If this was what he had to do to keep on living normally, then so be it. 

It wasn’t easy, but he would find a way and manage like he always did.

* * *

There weren’t a lot of things that slipped Leona’s notice. He was, first and foremost, a lion, and to observe and analyze his surroundings was part of his instinct - it was a weapon he had sharpened over the years, and as such, it went without saying that he was acutely aware of any changes in behavior of those around him, especially if it was someone he spent a fair amount of his time with.

Ruggie was a special case, one of the select few that Leona allowed within his space - except unlike the Kingscholar family, who would force themselves in no matter what he said or did, Ruggie was someone he allowed voluntarily, someone he trusted to be close to him without bothering him with unnecessary things, someone who could understand him even without the need for words. The hyena had always been quite relaxed around him too, not as intimidated as everybody else, able to laugh around him and joke with him and make snide remarks here and there as if he wasn’t talking to the second prince of the Afterglow Savanna. Leona would never admit it, but he liked that casualness and allowed it; it was refreshing in comparison to everyone always expecting so much of him, always walking a thin line around him, always afraid of the beast that lay within.

But that had changed, recently, and Leona wasn’t stupid to not know why. Ever since the magift tournament where he had overblotted, Ruggie had been acting differently, and what made it even worse was that he was trying not to show it. He was smiling and laughing like he always did, doing what Leona needed of him like he always did, going about his life with an attitude both carefree and serious like he always did, but Leona didn’t miss the shiver that seemed to run down Ruggie’s spine every time he looked at him, didn’t miss the way Ruggie didn’t exactly meet his gaze, didn’t miss the way he seemed to avoid getting physically close to him or spending more time around him than was necessary.

As smart as Leona was, it didn’t take a genius to figure out the change in Ruggie’s behavior. Though his memories of what exactly he had done when he had overblotted were a bit hazy, he clearly remembered the first time he used his unique magic that day and how Ruggie had been a victim of it. He remembered grabbing Ruggie, the blonde struggling as he began to dry out and his body started to turn to sand, and Jack using his own unique magic to catch him off guard and to let Riddle restrain him. In the back of his mind, he remembered Ruggie, still weak and struggling but using every ounce of his effort to fight back, helping to stop Leona from his rampage.  _ “I can’t just lay here after all he said,” _ Ruggie had declared through labored breaths, and Leona remembered mocking him, laughing at the idea of a lowly hyena defying him.

He didn’t speak of it, but Leona remembered everything.

Of course, he hadn’t apologized to anyone - not to the Savanaclaw students, not to the students of the other dorms, not to Crowley, and least of all not to Ruggie.  _ “What do I have to feel bad for?” _ he had sneered at the Ramshackle Dorm prefect after the tournament, smug as he always was. At that time, Ruggie had laughed that little laugh of his, saying,  _ “That’s the Leona-san we know!” _ , and the way he had acted then made Leona think that perhaps things were okay, and they could leave things as they were and return to how they had lived before.

Clearly he had thought wrong.

Leona wasn’t going to admit it out loud, but it was becoming quite a bother to him. It was uncomfortable, seeing the way Ruggie would jerk away ever-so-slightly when Leona got close, the way his eyes would dart every few moments to Leona’s hands as if in fear of being grabbed, the way his voice was unsteady and wary when he spoke to him, devoid of the casual familiarity he was used to. He hadn’t realized how used he had gotten to the ease with which Ruggie interacted with him up until now, scolding him and laughing at him like he wasn’t someone particularly important, but now that it was gone it was more apparent than ever. It reminded him of the way the people back home, the palace servants in particular, treated him, and he didn’t like it.

He didn’t like it one bit.

He liked it even less when the hallucinations began.

They started out simple, little flashes that disrupted his senses when he tried to touch something. He would reach out for something like his phone, then see it turn into sand at the slightest touch of his fingers - only for him to snap back into reality and realize nothing of the sort had happened. He would stare in disbelief at his hands, wondering if he was losing control again, just like the first time he had discovered his unique magic in his youth.

That couldn’t happen again. Not when he’d been working all these years to control himself, to hide the power that made people look at him with fear and apprehension, the power he had never asked to be born with.

_ Ah, how irritating. _ Leona really didn’t need this on top of everything else, not when he was already feeling some guilt about what he did - not that he’d ever say that to anyone, of course. He was way too proud to go up to Ruggie and admit that he was sorry, that he regretted hurting him the way he did; no, these were feelings he was going to keep buried within until they went away. After all, that’s how he’s been dealing with a lot of his problems up until now. He just wished things would just go back to the way they used to be as soon as possible, so he wouldn’t have to be distressed about something like this.

“Leona-san, are you here? It’s almost time for your potions class.”

The sound of Ruggie’s voice was never a welcome distraction, especially when it pertained to things like attending lessons, but more so now that Leona was preoccupied with several different frustrations. He groaned softly as he stirred from where he lay in the botanical gardens, not wanting to move from his comfortable spot.

“Leona-san? Leona-san, if you don’t get up soon you’re going to be late.”

He heard Ruggie’s footsteps approaching, but he didn’t move, waiting instead for the hyena to come closer and start pulling on him like he always did. But Ruggie didn’t do that, instead stopping and looking at him from a certain distance away, fidgeting ever so slightly where he stood. Leona waited, and waited, and waited, but there was nothing.

He frowned.  _ How annoying… _

“Leona-san,” said Ruggie again, his voice carrying with it hints of exasperation as he urged himself to step forward. “Come on, get up already, it’s gonna be more troublesome if Professor Crowley gets mad again…”

“Ugh, I know, I know.” Groaning, Leona slowly sat up, feeling his head throb as he did so; great, a headache, just what he needed. He paused for a moment, putting his hand to his head and rubbing at his temples to urge the pain away, and Ruggie looked on with a concerned expression.

“What’s wrong, are you not feeling well? Do you need some water?”

“Ngh, I’ll be fine. Hand me my lab coat.”

“You don’t look so good, I’ll get you a glass real quick-”

“I said I’ll be fine,” growled Leona irritably. He really didn’t want to deal with this right now; the way Ruggie was looking at him worriedly only made him feel worse, made the throbbing in his head stronger than before. If Ruggie didn’t want to be around him so badly, then the less time they spent together, the better. He didn’t need his concern or his pity. “Just hand me my lab coat already.”

The sound of his growl made Ruggie flinch, but he promptly shook it off as if it hadn’t bothered him. He started to walk towards Leona again, holding out his lab coat towards him. “Here you go, Leona-san. That’s fresh out of the laundry, so the detergent smell might bother you a bit. I tried to make sure it wasn’t too strong, though…”

Leona barely heard the words, grunting as he finally began to stand up. Gods, his head was throbbing  _ badly. _ He swayed a little as he stood, and at once Ruggie was at his side with a worried look.

“Leona-san? Leona-sa-”

He was falling. One hand reached for the tree behind him to anchor himself, while the other reached for Ruggie, fingers grasping at his arm - but suddenly it was gone, and in its place instead was sand.

Leona’s eyes widened, and he jolted upright and shook his head immediately, looking down at his hand. Ruggie’s arm was still intact, thin yet solid under his hand, with no sign of turning into sand at any given second.  _ What… What was that? _ That was much worse than the hallucinations he already had from time to time; up until now, it had only been with inanimate objects, not people, not Ruggie -

_ Ruggie. _

At once Leona’s gaze darted towards the younger boy’s face, and if he was expecting to see anything other than fear, he would be disappointed. Ruggie had frozen in place, his eyes wide and his lips parted slightly, his gaze directed at Leona without really looking at him or even seeing him. While every other part of him seemed to have stopped moving entirely, his hands were shaking, and only then did Leona realize he was still holding on to him. He let go at once, but Ruggie still didn’t move, and the sight of him like this made Leona grit his teeth.

He really couldn’t do this.

The fear in Ruggie’s eyes, so palpable that it felt like a slap in the face - he couldn’t look at it a second longer.

Without another word, Leona grabbed his lab coat and left, leaving Ruggie standing there frozen in the gardens. It took a while before Ruggie felt some sensation in his body again, and it was only when he realized there were tears falling down his cheeks.

* * *

If things weren’t already awkward between them before that incident, it was even worse now, yet at the same time there seemed to be an unspoken agreement between them that they weren’t going to let anyone else know about it. To any onlooker, things between the two of them looked perfectly normal, as though nothing whatsoever had changed; after all, they still went about their normal business, with Leona slacking off and going at his own pace and Ruggie working himself to the bone running all sorts of errands for him. What no one noticed was the silent wariness between them, the hesitation in almost every single interaction, the pauses in between as if one was expecting the other to say or do something they never did. It was driving Ruggie crazy little by little, and drowning himself in studies and in work could only do so much.

The only time he was truly able to catch his breath was over the winter break, a welcome and much-needed respite that finally let him leave NRC for a while and go back home to his grandmother. Being home didn’t mean he was free from chores, but there was a certain kind of peace here that he couldn’t exactly find in school. He didn’t find it the least bit bothersome to go around the slums to share some food and other souvenirs with the neighborhood kids, nor did he find it bothersome to help his grandma around the house after months of being away from her. It was the least he could do, especially considering he was gone for most of the year and she lived all by herself. Even though she was fully capable, she was still an old lady, and Ruggie wanted to take care of her and ease her of her burdens as best as he could.

And of course, the best thing about being home was that there was no way for him to run into Leona. While they were both from the Afterglow Savanna, Ruggie lived in the slums, a place the royal prince would never go to, particularly the lazy one who wanted to do nothing else but sleep. He didn’t realize until his first whole day of not seeing the lion that he really had been so tense around him for weeks, and now he could relax once more, at least until he had to go back to school. He couldn’t keep himself from grinning at the sudden excitement that filled his body; he was definitely going to take advantage of this as much as possible, and enjoy his holidays like any normal teenager would.

For the first time in a long while, Ruggie finally had a good night’s sleep, a peaceful slumber without any interruptions. When he woke up from it, he felt more refreshed than he ever had in his entire life, happier than he had since… Since when, actually? He couldn’t even remember, but it was nice being able to not worry about anything for a while.

He had missed that kind of peace.

But as the holidays slowly came to an end, the anxiety started to build up again, gnawing and prodding at him like a reminder that he couldn’t just dismiss. Little by little, the restlessness and uneasiness began to return, and it came as no surprise when the nightmares came back.

It was as if they had never stopped, returning with an intensity just like when they first began. The strong sandstorm, the sound of Leona’s mocking laughter, the feeling of his arm beginning to break apart - it was clearer than ever before, and when he woke with a start the first thing Ruggie did was check to see if his body was still whole. His heart was racing, his hands were sweating, and his throat was drying up, and he was shaking as he slowly stumbled out of bed to head to the kitchen for a drink. It took all his effort just to pour himself a glass without spilling water all over the floor, his breathing labored and his hands still trembling from fear, and when he finally got to gulp the water down, his head cleared up and he was able to breathe again.  _ I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m safe here. I’m fine. _ He squeezed his eyes shut and repeated the words over and over in his head, hoping desperately that they were true.

“Ruggie?”

The sudden sound of his grandma’s voice made him jump, and his hands fumbled to catch the glass before he dropped it completely onto the floor. “G-gran!” he said, laughing nervously. “You surprised me there. What are you doing up so late?”

“I should be asking you the same thing.” The concern in her face was undeniable as she approached, reaching out so she could put a hand over her grandson’s. “Are you alright? You look like you had a bad dream.”

“I’m fine, gran, it’s just-” As soon as he said the words, Ruggie knew it was useless; he couldn’t hide anything from her, not when she was looking at him with so much worry in her eyes. Oh, how he hated making her worry. He sighed then, putting the glass down properly before holding onto his grandmother’s hands like he always did when he was scared as a child. “I… I did have a bad dream. A really, really bad dream.”

“That’s not good.” She gave his hands a gentle squeeze, speaking ever so softly and carefully. “Do you want to talk to grandma about it?”

How was he supposed to tell her that the second prince of the Afterglow Savanna had gone into a rampage and almost turned him into sand, and how that single moment was engraved in his mind forever? He didn’t want to worry her more than he already was, especially not at her old age. He took a moment to consider his words before he spoke again. “It was just a fight with a close friend,” he said, his voice soft as well.  _ That’s right, a friend. _ Few would call Leona Kingscholar that, but it was what Ruggie had thought of him, a friend he could trust and rely on. “Sometime before break, I had a misunderstanding with someone I trusted… There was a fight, and it’s over now, but I dream about it from time to time. It’s… pretty scary.”

If his grandmother knew he wasn’t telling the whole truth, she didn’t press him further, simply nodding her head as she listened. “You know, oftentimes, what is unresolved in reality is what comes together to form a dream,” she said. “Did you and your friend sort things out after you fought?”

“We… didn’t, not really.” That was the truth, at least; Leona had never apologized, never even mentioned it again, and Ruggie had done the same, as if there was a silent agreement between them to act like nothing happened. While Ruggie had told him clearly at the time that he hadn’t forgiven him so easily, it wasn’t as though Leona was the kind of guy who would say sorry, especially when he thought he hadn’t done anything to warrant it; the thought of it made Ruggie frown now. “He’s… This is just between us, okay, gran? But he’s kind of a total jerk, a huge pain in the ass, and he never said sorry to me even after he broke my trust like it was nothing.”

“Ruggie!” exclaimed his grandmother, a bit taken aback.

“I’m serious! I mean…” Suddenly everything he had been keeping inside him all this time was pouring out, and he couldn’t stop himself. He had wanted to just keep it bottled up, hoping that if he buried the pain and the betrayal deep enough then it would never hurt him again, but all of it was resurfacing now and he couldn’t stop himself. “I trusted him, you know? I trusted him so much! I thought… I thought we were on the same side, that we were working towards the same thing, that he trusted me as much as I trusted him, but he… He  _ never _ told me he didn’t feel the same way, that he was just humoring me - how was I supposed to handle that? And he acted like  _ I _ was stupid for believing, for trusting him, when all that time I thought we were helping each other…” The tears were falling again and it made him feel like a child, but he couldn’t stop. These were the same thoughts that ate at him every single day, every second he spent around Leona, thoughts he couldn’t put into words out of fear of being turned away again. “But then after all that, he never apologized, and he acts like nothing ever happened… How am I supposed to feel about that, huh? I know he’s that type of guy, that he doesn’t really apologize especially if he thinks he didn’t do anything wrong, but - but I’d appreciate  _ something _ , like,  _ any _ thing, just so I don’t feel like an idiot for trusting him all this time…”

His words trailed off, and the next thing he knew his grandmother had let go of his hands so she could put her arms around him, enveloping him in a warm and gentle hug that only made him want to cry harder. She was just a little bit shorter than him, small and frail, yet in her arms he felt safe and secure. He sobbed into her shoulder as she rubbed his back gently, making soft shushing sounds like she always did to soothe him when he was young.

“There, there… It must’ve really hurt, hmm?” she murmured softly, and he responded with nothing more than a nod and a sniffle, and she smiled and continued to pet him. “That’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with hurting, my child. Anybody would be heartbroken from something like that, yes? Don’t feel bad about being in pain. It’s okay.”

It was amazing how her touch and her words, simple as they were, could soothe him. Just like that, Ruggie began to feel himself calming down, and he rubbed at his tears with one hand while he continued holding on to his grandmother with the other. He heard her chuckle softly as her hand moved up to his head to pet him there.

“But from everything you told me… It looks like the only solution is to talk to him about it, isn’t it?” At that, Ruggie let out a little groan, and his grandmother only smiled. “If he won’t budge, you might have to be the one to approach him yourself… Of course, it would be better if he was the one who did it, since based on what you told me he’s the one who’s in the wrong, but if it’s been some time since your fight you can’t just keep waiting for that apology, can you? And if you never do anything about it, it’ll never be the same between you two again… Is that what you want?”

“N...no.” It came out as a soft grumble, but Ruggie meant it. Of course he didn’t want things to stay this way forever. He wanted to go back to the way things were before, to the days when he could stand by Leona’s side without any fear, talking and laughing with him with ease; those were days he treasured, days he held dearly in his heart. If they could just go back to those days, then… “I… I want things to be like they used to be.”

“Then you know what to do.” His grandmother pulled back from the hug just enough so she could hold Ruggie’s face in her hands instead, smiling gently as she patted his cheeks. “If he values you just as much as you value him, then I’m sure he’ll see your effort and own up to his mistakes.”

Ruggie couldn’t keep himself from snorting at that. “I doubt it, but it’d be nice to hope.” He paused to look at his grandmother for a second longer, before smiling and giving her a soft kiss on the top of her head. “Thanks, gran. You’ve always got the solution for everything.”

“Of course! Everyone’s going to have problems otherwise, aren’t they?” she huffed, a proud expression on her face that made Ruggie laugh. “Now, do you want some warm milk before bed? It’s always helpful for a good night’s sleep.”

“Sounds good to me… Thanks again, grandma.”

* * *

The rest of the winter holidays passed without much incident, to Ruggie’s pleasant surprise. Of course, the nightmares didn’t vanish entirely; there were still some nights when he’d wake up in a fearful panic, but as if she could sense them each time, his grandmother would come to him with a warm glass of milk and keep him company until he fell asleep again. He didn’t get as many flashes when he was awake anymore, either, so he was able to relax even more than he expected. And when the time came for him to return to school, he wasn’t as anxious as he was before, and he was fully determined to go up to Leona and talk to him about the whole thing.

Returning to school after the holidays was always a chaotic time, even more so in Savanaclaw where the students tended to be quite rowdy. Just making it through the Mirror Chamber was already tedious, with some bringing along more things than what they had brought back home, forming a large crowd that barely budged. Ruggie was the opposite - if he had gone home with multiple bags carrying loads of food, he returned to school with nothing more than clothes and a few snacks from his grandma. Finally arriving at the dorm, he was greeted by students talking excitedly about how they had spent their holidays, showing off pictures they had taken and even trading some souvenirs. As he made his way through the crowd, he was suddenly shadowed by a familiar tall figure, and a smile tugged lightly at his lips in recognition.

“Ruggie-senpai, welcome b-”

“You’re in the way, Jack-kun,” Ruggie said, but his tone was lighthearted and not really chiding. The freshman was taken aback, looking quite flustered as he fumbled for a response, and the hyena chuckled at the sight. “And why are you saying ‘welcome back’ when you went home yourself? It’s not like you were waiting for me to come back, were you?”

“W-well… I arrived a bit earlier, so I was waiting…” Jack’s face only reddened further, but before Ruggie could say anything else he shook his head and cleared his throat to regain his composure. “A-Anyway! I was asked by Leona-senpai to tell you to go to his room as soon as you arrived.”

“I… Huh?” Well, that was certainly… not what he expected. Ruggie’s eyes widened as he stared at Jack in surprise. “Leona-san’s asking for me? Already?”

Jack nodded. “He didn’t say what it was about, he just told me to let you know once you made it back. He looked like he was in a bit of a bad mood, though.”

“That’s weird… Maybe his family made him bring some extra stuff along and he needs help unpacking. Man…” Ruggie sighed; was that prince ever going to be able to do these things on his own? Then again, it probably didn’t help that Ruggie somewhat enabled him by spoiling him, but in his defense he was getting paid for it. “Alright, alright. I’ll be heading to his room, then. Jack-kun, can you-”

“Leave your things to me, Ruggie-senpai! I’ll handle them!” exclaimed Jack before he could even finish. He looked so eager to be of help that it was impossible to say no to him, even if Ruggie wasn’t planning to.

“Alright then. You can just leave them by my door, okay? I’ll take care of them when I get back.” 

“Got it!”

With one last nod, Ruggie started to make his way to Leona’s room. With Leona being the dorm head, it was a bit secluded from everybody else’s rooms, so it was much less quieter and far less crowded. As he approached, Ruggie felt his heart begin to race slightly from nervousness, but he took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down.  _ It’s going to be fine _ , he reassured himself.  _ It’s going to be fine. _ Over the rest of the break, he had come up with different scenarios of how he was going to talk to Leona, but he hadn’t exactly planned to see him  _ this _ soon. He had planned to return to the dorm, unpack his things and get settled again, and  _ then _ talk to Leona when the opportunity arose; he hadn’t expected to be summoned before he could even put his things down.

_ I bet he’s either gonna have me unpack some stuff his family had him bring, or send me off to do something he forgot, _ he thought with a sigh.  _ Man, what a pain. _ He was used to this, of course, but it  _ had _ been some weeks since the last time they saw each other. Finally, he arrived in front of Leona's room, and he knocked twice before he started opening the door. "Leona-san, it's me, I'm coming in…"

The room was as Ruggie left it before the holidays - clean, without any of the usual mess lying around, with warm sunlight coming in through the window illuminating it. To Ruggie’s surprise, Leona was sitting on the couch reading and not lying on the bed napping, and there was no sign of any of the extra luggage he thought he would be unpacking. He blinked, looking around in confusion before looking back at Leona.

“Uh, Leona-san? What’s up?” he asked, suddenly feeling quite awkward. Most of the time, he could easily tell what he was being summoned for, and it felt strange to him not really knowing what he was supposed to do. He watched as Leona looked up from his book, closing it and slowly putting it down. “Anything you need?”

“...Come here,” Leona said simply.

Ruggie blinked once more. “Huh?”

“I said, come here,” Leona repeated, his tone tinged with slight irritation.

Gulping, Ruggie approached, feeling twice as nervous and confused. Leona pointed to the empty space on the couch next to him, and Ruggie sat down quietly and waited for his command.

Moments passed, but Leona didn’t say anything.

Ruggie remained silent, unsure of what to say or do. Surely Leona had summoned him for a reason, right? He had never really called Ruggie for nothing, and would usually say what he wanted right away so Ruggie could take care of it as soon as possible, but he sure was taking his time now. The hyena glanced towards him curiously, and to his surprise, the lion looked rather…  _ antsy _ . He looked like he was in deep thought, as if he was working out what he wanted to say in his head, and he was flicking his tail restlessly. It was a rare sight, and kind of cute, but Ruggie wasn’t going to say that out loud right now. He probably ought to say something, though, otherwise they would just be sitting here forever.

“Um, Leona-san…?” he said with a nervous chuckle. “You know, I can’t read your mind and guess what you want me t-”

“‘m sorry.”

“Wh-” The response came as such a surprise that Ruggie’s mouth hung open in shock. “I… Wh… Leona-san?” Were his ears deceiving him, or did Leona -  _ the _ Leona Kingscholar himself - just  _ apologize _ ? He couldn’t believe it, even as he watched the lion turn his face away slightly in his embarrassment, his tail flicking even more.

“...said ‘m sorry,” he muttered, his voice coming out in a slight growl, but with no malice behind it. He was fidgeting, his discomfort in saying something he wasn’t used to clearly apparent for Ruggie to see, but he continued anyway. “The… The magift tournament, when I used my unique magic on you. That was… wrong of me. So, I’m sorry.”

Ruggie couldn’t believe this. He was hearing the words, but somehow his brain simply couldn’t process that Leona was actually saying them himself. Leona, bossy and selfish and arrogant and  _ proud _ , a man who was too absorbed in himself to ever admit he did anything wrong and apologize for it… was doing just that. Was this another dream, another hallucination? Or was he being punked? All he could do was stare in disbelief, and this time when Leona flicked his tail it was with annoyance.

“Oi, say something,” he growled, making Ruggie jump slightly in his seat.

“S-sorry! I just… Well, this wasn’t what I’d been expecting at all.” The hyena scratched the back of his head, looking sheepish as he spoke. “I was… I was gonna talk to you about it, but I didn’t think you’d apologize yourself.” He had already resigned himself to the fact that he’d have to settle things on his own, so this hadn’t been in any of his planned scenarios at all. In his mind, he had visualized approaching Leona and telling him about how he’d been having nightmares, how it was difficult to go about his daily life like he normally did after what had happened, how being around Leona only made it worse, but also how he wanted to fix that and make things alright again between the two of them. He hadn’t even remotely considered that Leona would say  _ sorry _ , and that he’d do it before Ruggie could even confront him. 

“...My brother’s wife made me,” Leona admitted, and the unexpected revelation only made Ruggie stare at him in disbelief once more. Leona looked even more embarrassed about this, sighing and rubbing his temples as he leaned back against the couch and explained. “I was...having some hallucinations, about the things I touched turning into sand even without activating my unique magic, and they were being so bothersome I ended up dropping this vase she was asking me to carry. So in the end I had to explain things to her, and… she told me it’d help if I apologized. So there.”

“Wait, wait.” All of this information was making Ruggie’s head spin. All this time, he hadn’t thought… “Hallucinations? You were having them too?”

This time, it was Leona who looked surprised. “Too?”

And so Ruggie told him everything, about the nightmares and the hallucinations and how they haunted him every single day. He told him how it got so bad that he could  _ feel _ himself turning into sand sometimes, even when he was awake, and it would take a while before he’d return to his senses and realize that he was fine. He admitted how scared it made him, but how he tried his hardest to not let Leona know, and how he instead kept acting like the incident hadn’t affected him at all. He confessed how the nightmares chased after him even after he went home, how he ended up talking to his grandma about it, how he decided he’d confront Leona once he came back to school, but Leona had beaten him to it.

Leona remained silent as he spoke, listening to everything he was saying. He had figured out easily enough that Ruggie had been affected by the incident more than he let on, but not to the point that he was having nightmares and hallucinating, too. He stayed still even after Ruggie finished, only sitting there and thinking about everything he had heard, making the younger boy tilt his head at him and smile a bit awkwardly again.

“Leona-san…?” the hyena prompted gently. “Don’t think too much about it, yeah? You already apologized and that’s already more than I expected, so-”

“I didn’t know.” Leona looked up now, his gaze meeting Ruggie’s, and the intensity in those emerald green eyes took Ruggie aback. “I didn’t know it was like that for you, too.”

“Y-yeah, well…” Ruggie laughed sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. It was so rare to see Leona like this, to talk to him like this, that it was throwing him off a bit, but he figured it wasn’t particularly a bad thing.“It was, uh, pretty scary, you know? Almost turning into sand, and all. I really thought I was a goner, honestly…” His words trailed off when he realized Leona was still staring at him, and he smiled and shrugged. “I guess we both had it tough, huh, Leona-san? But it was probably harder on you… I mean, you didn’t really care for your unique magic, right? And to keep being haunted by it like that, when you least expect it-”

“No… It was worse for you, wasn’t it? Like you said, you almost died. Don’t act like it wasn’t a big deal.” The words were a bit harsh, but the tone in which Leona said them wasn’t; even the expression on his face was rather soft, unguarded,  _ vulnerable _ , and it took Ruggie a moment to realize that he looked genuinely remorseful. Leona began to reach out his hand, before pausing in hesitation and pulling back. “I’m sorry, for using my magic on you… And for the other things I said and did back then. Really, I… I’m sorry.”

What was this? Ruggie felt his heart tighten, as if it was being clenched from the inside. Over the time they’d known each other, over the time they’d spent by each other’s side, he knew Leona well enough to be able to tell when he was being sincere, and this was one of those moments. He had never truly expected Leona to genuinely own up to his mistakes and apologize to him, and now that he had done just that, it was so much more than he could ever ask for. Perhaps they were little, ordinary things for just about anyone else, but not for them, and especially not for Leona. The sight of him looking so openly guilty reminded Ruggie of the pitiful way he looked back then, and just as he didn’t want to see that miserable look on his face at that time, he wanted to make him smile this time, too.

“Leona-san.” Leona slowly lifted his head, meeting his gaze once more, and Ruggie gave him the biggest smile he could muster. “Sorry to do this again, but I figured it’s the only way -  _ Laugh With Me! _ ”

“Wha-” Before Leona could protest properly, he felt Ruggie’s magic take its effect on him. His arm started to move on its own, and he was about to say something before he realized that Ruggie was simply bringing their hands together until their palms touched, ever so lightly. He flinched just the slightest bit, bracing himself for another hallucination, and he saw Ruggie do the same - but nothing happened, and the moment passed just like that; Ruggie’s hand stayed intact, small yet strong against his, with no signs of crumbling into sand at a moment’s notice. Just as easily, he felt Ruggie stop his magic, but their hands stayed where they were, and the hyena laughed that cheeky little laugh of his.

“This should make it even again, right?” said Ruggie, grinning. “My grandma always says the best way to conquer your fears is to face them. See? You still have control of your magic and I’m perfectly safe, so it’s all good, yeah?”

“You…” Leona sighed exasperatedly, but after a moment he laughed, a laugh so gentle and light and unlike his usual smug and arrogant one that at that second Ruggie couldn’t help but stare at him mesmerized. “You really are a cheeky little brat, huh? You sure you’re safe with me?”

Ruggie laughed as well. “Of course,” he said. “But you better make sure to not break my trust this time, okay, Leona-san?”

“Mm. You got it.”

* * *

It was a while later when Ruggie finally headed back to his room, feeling like a weight was lifted off his shoulders. Things were resolved much smoother than he thought, and it put him in a significantly good mood; he probably ought to write to his grandmother about it so he could ease her worries. Before he had left, she had jokingly threatened to knock some sense into his ‘friend’ if they didn’t resolve things, and the idea of a tiny old lady whacking Leona had made him laugh. He had considered telling her that the friend he told her about was the second prince, but figured she wouldn’t change her mind regardless of who it was; either way, it was a funny thing to think about.

As he turned the corner, he was surprised to see Jack standing right outside his door, waiting and looking as if he was on guard… which was probably what he  _ was _ doing, Ruggie assumed. He smiled and waved as he approached, catching the freshman’s attention. “I told you you could just leave my things by the door, right? You didn’t have to keep watch,” he teased, making Jack turn red and sputter.

“I… I was just making sure no one would touch them,” he defended.

“Well, aren’t you a good boy. I don’t think anyone in here would try to touch my things, but I appreciate the sentiment all the same.” Ruggie reached for his keys, opening the door to his room and grabbing his bags. “Thanks a lot, Jack-kun. You should go and unpack your own stuff soon.”

“I will.” Jack didn’t move from his spot, though, and Ruggie looked at him before sighing.

“Anything on your mind, Jack-kun?”

“N-no, it’s just…” The wolf fidgeted uneasily, trying to pick his words, and Ruggie waited patiently for him to speak. Finally, he said, “Are you and Leona-senpai...okay?”

This day was just full of surprises, wasn’t it? Ruggie blinked, not having expected the question from him, taking a moment to respond. “Y-yeah, we’re fine. What made you ask?”

“Mm… Things seemed a little tense between the two of you, after… after last time. So I just wanted to make sure.” Jack scratched the back of his head, looking sheepish at having asked the question, but he looked at Ruggie and gave him a little smile. “If things are fine, then I guess I’ve got nothing to worry about. I’m glad you’re okay, Ruggie-senpai.”

“A-ah, well… Thanks.” Ruggie wasn’t quite sure what to say; after all, he had thought all this time that no one else had noticed the tension between him and Leona, especially since no one else had ever asked about it. He figured it wasn’t too surprising that Jack had caught on, though, given that he had been there when the incident happened. Still… If he had to be honest, it was pretty nice to be on the receiving end of some genuine concern. He smiled, reaching over to pat Jack on the arm. “We’re fine, I promise. You can go now, Jack-kun.”

“Alright! I’ll see you then, Ruggie-senpai!” With that, Jack was off, and Ruggie watched him with a fond expression as he went in his room and closed the door behind him.

_ That’s right _ , he thought, looking down at his hand. Over the past few weeks, the sight of it had been enough to trigger those horrible visions from time to time, but now, all he could think about was the feel of Leona’s hand against his, gentle and warm, and his relaxed laughter that he rarely let anyone else hear. The image put a smile on Ruggie’s face, and he smiled as he held his hand close to his chest, as if bottling up that memory and keeping it where no one could take it.

_ We’re fine. _

**Author's Note:**

> Well, this ended up being a lot longer than I expected. To be honest, there's still more I wanted to write, but at the same time I didn't want to drag it on for too long, so this is what I've settled on. This focuses primarily on Ruggie and his side of the situation, so unfortunately I wasn't able to delve a lot into Leona's. I want to explore more of Leona's side though, since there's still quite a lot to unpack there, so I might end up writing a sidestory to this that's more focused on him. Some of the things included in the fic are just my headcanons, such as Leona having lost control of his power as a child and scaring those who had witnessed it, so please don't take it as anything official.
> 
> Anyway, this was mostly Ruggie's story, but I hope I was able to do both him and Leona some justice. Both of them are my favorite characters, aside from Jamil and Kalim, but I felt the Savanaclaw episode was largely lacking in development (especially Leona's) and was pretty disappointing, so this fic was born. Still, Twisted Wonderland is still pretty new, so I'm hopeful that development will come down the line. To those who haven't read the personal stories the Savanaclaw boys are in, I highly urge you to - they're so much more developed and endearing in every other story they appear in. 
> 
> I ended up rambling quite a bit, but I hope you guys liked this! Sorry if there were any mistakes. Please don't hesitate to let me know what you think in the comments, and leave kudos if you thought it was good. Thanks for reading!


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